4 Things My Wife Does That Make Me Love Her More Everyday

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Today as my husband headed back to work after his lunch break, he handed me a flash drive. He said that it contained a guest post for my blog. If I read it, I had to publish the post on my blog. Nick knew my curiosity levels would be through the roof. It took less than 45 minutes for me to get the kids down for naps before I read this post. And yes, I cried while reading it. 

Nick’s Guest Post:

When I offered to write a guest post for my wife’s blog because she is busy and has a lot on her plate, she thought I would say something stupid and embarrass her. I might, only time will tell, but more importantly I wanted to give her something to show her I loved her.

I know I don’t say it enough, but she means the world to me. I’d buy her something, but she already has everything she needs (READ: ME). I’m simply not gifted enough with my hands to make her anything; and my interpretative dancing is still a work in progress. I also, just like everyone else, lack the time and resources to do anything fancy, so I figured I would try to write a guest post for her. Something she can display and get a week off from having to feed her many ravenous fans.

The hardest part was actually coming up with a topic. Do I tell her secrets she doesn’t know about me? Do I apologize profusely for what she has to smell on a daily basis? What do I say to the woman who has given me everything? She led me to Christ, she married me despite knowing I break everything, she bore my children, and even let me name one after a comic book character (Barry Allen). The only thing worth talking about in my life, is her.

Before I Begin

A couple of caveats before I begin. First, I wanted to make sure I highlighted little things. These are the things she does every day, not big sweeping gestures. Those are special in their own way, but a life together is never going to be built on big moments, but little ones. A trip to a romantic dinner will quickly fade from memory, but the ability to put your socks in the hamper lasts a lifetime.

Next, I wanted to find things that qualify as “above and beyond.” These are items that could not be done and our lifestyle wouldn’t change. My life would, but the way we live would not. These are things I had no reason to expect, and don’t recall ever desiring in a woman. These are what my wife chooses to do to make my life a little more complete, not expectations I had nor the regular “qualifications” that would be associated with being a wife and mother.

Finally, I assume these are elements any wife could accomplish. God’s blessing in my life is more complete because my wife does the little things anyone could do. This is not a brag list of my wife’s special talents and abilities, but instead a thank you for choosing to do what most wives forget to do. Whether you work a 9-5 job, stay at home with the kids, are an excellent chef, an excellent musician, or whatever, I’m sure you have special ways to show your husband you love him. Those things are important. If you never use your special gifts for the enjoyment of your husband I think you are missing out, but you don’t have to have special talents to do the four things that my wife does to make me love her more everyday.

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4 Things My Wife Does That Make Me Love Her More Everyday

#4: She kisses me goodbye every day.

Going to work every day is hard. I don’t care where you work, or what you do, selling your life to THE MAN takes it out of a person. I work an easy job. A very easy job, but there is many a day I don’t feel like leaving the house. It’s hard knowing my kids are growing up and I have to spend the majority of their childhood locked in a building without them.

She kisses me goodbye every day, then waits till I get to the end of the driveway, turn around, and we wave to each other. It’s silly, it’s sentimental, but it tells me that everything is going to be okay. Even on days where work becomes a nightmare. I deal with angry bosses, angry employees, angry customers, I deal with lost and stolen items. I never know what the day in front of me is about to unleash, but I know she is there for me.

I know, no matter what, she will still love me, still welcome me home, and still be there for me. She says all of these things with a kiss and a wave. Even on those days I don’t deserve it (especially on those days) I need a reminder that everything is going to be okay. That no matter what happens at work. No matter what the world throws at me today, we still have each other and she still loves me.

How do you say goodbye to the person you’ve committed your life to? How do you show them that they still mean the world to you, and you need them? If you’re not telling them, maybe you should. If you’ve forgotten why you are still together train your brain into remembering. A quick kiss, a hug, a wave, can all say you still love them and need them. Even on the days you don’t feel it, maybe this is what you need to start feeling it.

#3: She invests in my interests.

This one may be a little tricky because we all have different interests. My interests have always been unique. I enjoy a wide spectrum of activities from cartoons and comic books to horror movies and video games. I enjoy sports, guns, or even knitting (I make a mean winter hat) and photography. My interests range, and your husband’s will too. This makes it a little trickier to be specific in how to enjoy his interests. You know your husband better than anyone, so you probably already know where his interests lie.

The interesting part here is that the hobby that bugs you the most may become one of your favorites to join. My wife always fell asleep during football games. She really didn’t enjoy the sport, and finding a way to watch the game was a challenge for us; especially because she wasn’t interested. It took some convincing, but I finally got her to try Fantasy Football. We played in the same league, would play each other at least twice in the season, and it gave her something to watch during the game. She recognized the names, and had a small interest in the games going on. It was all she needed to enjoy the game, and open conversation. This year we decided to take a break from football and she misses it more than I do!

Now, this one is hard for a couple of reasons. First, there is a time and place to join and want to be a part of it, and a time and place to give space. Some hobbies are meant to be enjoyed with more people. We play board games, she’s played video games, we watch TV, we even do photography together, and that is all wonderful. Then there’s woodworking, reloading, and some video games where I’m not asking for companionship, but space. It can be a fine line, and one that you don’t really want to cross, but finding the right interest to enjoy together will help bring you closer together and give you more to talk about than work and kids.

This can also be a challenge because there should be a level of reciprocation. There won’t be. You can’t expect that because you watched a football game with me, I need to go to Yoga with you (or whatever). I do my best to involve myself with some of my wife’s hobbies. We can cook together, we look through Christian articles together, but . . . I know I don’t do it enough. Christ calls us to be servants, and part of being a servant is not expecting anything in return for the effort we make. I do other things for my wife, but no matter how much she wants to, we are probably never going to bond by making greeting cards together.

So, how do you bond with your husband? What do you two enjoy together outside of work and kids? Simply by spending some time with your husband you can open new avenues in the relationship, and learn more about your partner. Everything gets boring and stale when it doesn’t grow or develop.

#2: She builds me up in front of my kids.

I get to spend an average of four hours a day with my kids. Between work, sleep, and just needing alone time, it works out to about four hours a day, and I don’t even have a time-consuming job. If I were still teaching and coaching it’d be closer to half-an-hour. I don’t have to be on call, don’t work weekends, don’t need to compete to advance. My job is perfect, and I still only get four hours a day.

My wife spends an average of twelve hours a day with our kids. EVERY. WAKING. MOMENT. I know because she reminds me of that often. The amount of damage she could do to me in front of the kids is indescribable.

Instead, they all still run to greet me when I walk in the door. They curl up in my lap to hear more stories. They still wrap their little arms around my neck and tell me they love me. I still get to be their hero. I’m still the coolest person in their world (okay, second to MOM herself, but that’s not really fair). The kids still want to spend time around me and play with me. She builds me up throughout the day. If nothing else, she doesn’t simply tear me down when I’m not around. Instead of the kids hearing horror stories about a big-bad dad, they hear stories of me getting to be the hero.

How do you talk to your kids about their father? What’s your tone of voice, and what stories are you choosing to share? These are things it is hard to fake. If you catch yourself badmouthing your husband, it is a nice litmus test for where your heart is. The Bible tells us that the tongue steers the body. When you start building your husband up, you’re heart will follow.

#1: She prays for me.

In one of my moments of depression, when my wife and I were having a fight and I accused her of not loving me, she told me she prayed for me. She told me how she stopped what they were doing every day at 11:11 (my birthday) and they said a prayer for daddy.

I don’t know what they pray for, I don’t think they pray for long, and I have never seen them do it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Just knowing she prays for me daily is all I need to know. I don’t need to know the details. All I needed to know was that when she was in the presence of The King; when she went to the throne room of the Living God, knelt at His feet and cried out to her Father, she cried out for me.

At a time she could ask for anything. At a time where the most powerful being, more powerful than we can even comprehend, was listening to her she was talking about me. She loves me so much that she took me to the Lord and held me out to Him.

I cannot adequately explain the magnitude of this action. There is a very real chance no one else on earth is praying for me. No one else is holding me up and asking for the Lord to do wonders in my life. No one else would even consider it, and yet here she is. My wife, with the Heavenly Father, asking for me to be blessed.

I don’t deserve it. I don’t earn it. I can’t even say I do the same thing for her. I am selfish, self-centered, moody, and arrogant. I don’t deserve blessings. I don’t.

She holds me up anyway.

He answers her prayers.

He blesses me every day with a wife who loves me.

I just hope she knows that.

When I was a teenager, I honestly wondered if it was worth waiting for the guy that God wanted me to marry. Many times I doubted that God could really bless me with an amazing Christian husband. As you can see from this post, I have been blessed by God with a husband who continues to love me in every imaginable way. God is great and sovereign over all. And my husband really is the stinkin’ best! 🙂

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